You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
