suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
