Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
