Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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