I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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