He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
