What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
