The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
