i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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