she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
