Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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