Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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