Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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