champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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