he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Be still, my beating vagina.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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