I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you had me at cake vodka
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
