So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
