Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Im part way to drunk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
