Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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