Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
