My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
