I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
