I am spending my child support on dildos
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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