i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
