So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
