Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize