champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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