broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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