Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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