sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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