She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
