Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
