walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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