just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
foreskin is a definite game changer
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
