I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
