You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
