About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
