It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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