you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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