dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
