i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
