Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize