My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
