you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
