thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
