So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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