I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
