i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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