yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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