I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This house was built for laser tag.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
