I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize