i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
