just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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