so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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