Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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