Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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