I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
