Pappa wants mamma naked
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
