There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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