Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
