he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
