i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
...so i touched it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
