just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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