I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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