Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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