i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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