I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
