I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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