thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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