my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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