please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
