1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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