i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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