Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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