How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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