Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
