Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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