my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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