I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
