ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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