They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i will never coherently bang her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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