dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
