Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
