We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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