U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
