he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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